When Winning Meant Something

The other night, I was putting up all of Roberto’s ribbons from swim team on the bulletin board near my kitchen. There were a couple of blue ones (1st), a couple of red ones (2nd), a couple of white ones (3rd), then a smattering of green (4th) and yellow (5th or lower). It basically meant that he got a ribbon for pretty much every race he has entered. Then I went to his room and noticed the trophies and medals for 4 soccer, two basketball and one t-ball teams. So his soccer team was pretty good this year (didn’t lose a game and barely gave up a goal), but the other teams weren’t the best in the league and hell, they didn’t even officially keep score. So why everyone feel compelled to give ribbons and medals and trophies just for putting in a good effort. Remember when things were more like what happened in the classic Simpsons “Lisa on Ice” episode? (Can’t find the link I want, but Krusty botching the national anthem is pretty funny.)  Homer let her sit in the front seat because she was the winner. Now everyone gets a ribbon, no matter what. Do they want our kids to turn into Dermot Mulroney in About Schmidt? He had all of the participant ribbons. Maybe that’s why he had a mullet and sold waterbeds? Since most of my baseball and basketball teams were mediocre at best (did get one 2nd place in baseball), I had to be content with academic plaques and certificates and two measly sports trophies (one for basketball in a 3rd grade contest and one for 5th grade baseball). I don’t have a mullet. I don’t sell waterbeds.

What’s even more hilarious is that they don’t give out ribbons at field day. Remember how hard it was to get a blue or red ribbon? I was so happy to get 2nd second in the 50-yard dash in 6th grade. Now they just want everyone to have fun. Maybe that’s why we aren’t as competitive as other countries anymore.

Is anyone else outraged?

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