After my low number of readers (likely lower after my hiatus) stop cursing me for not writing a new post for several months, they can fill in the blank. The image that of course comes to mind is Homer Simpson choking Bart and yelling “why you little..” But for any parent, especially a single one, there are many times that you can envision yourself doing this. Of course it happens when you are tired (until last night, I haven’t been sleeping very well), the weather is cold, they have missed naps and you have to run errands (like Costco and Bed, Bath and Beyond).
So when you get to the point of wanting to choke, smack, kick or tar and feather, you typically resort to one of the following:
- Getting angry, either very loud at home or in that slightly quiter voice that you hope nobody else in the store hears
- Shaming them, such as “Do you want everyone to think that you are a baby instead of a six-year old”
- Threats, such as “You won’t get to go to that party or you won’t get to play on the computer”
- Bribes, such as “If you behave yourself, you can have a piece of candy when you get home”
- Timeouts
Of course, all of these tactics have serious downsides. Getting angry rarely works and just the kids more upset or more likely to take it up a notch. Shame might work a little better, but kids tend to not to care how complete strangers view them. Threats might work for a short period of time, but the kids know that they are often hollow. If you threaten to withhold TV, then you as the parent get no break and the kids know who that works. Bribes, while often highly effective, also set a bad precedent and you can’t go the well every time. Timeouts are not always practical away from the house.
Today was a particularly tough day and the kids were acting up, despite be brandishing the threat of not going to a party tonight at my disposal, I bumped into a friend at King Soopers. She was at her wit’s end trying to get her kids to behave. It made me think that I should blog about this topic.
Do I know the answer to how to best deal with kids when they act up? Of course not. Even the most optimal rotation of threats and bribery won’t make a damn bit of difference. So I offer this up. Just deal with whatever nonsense arises. Then have a stiff drink and go to Facebook, Twitter, your blog or someone who likes you enough to listen (or pretend to listen) and just vent about it. It might make you feel slightly better and when other people will share their stories, you’ll realize that your kids don’t misbehave more than anyone else. Unless they are juvenile delinquents. Then they really do.
Filed under: Kids/Family, Parenthood Tagged: | children, kids
